Jonathan Sprinkle's weblog

Jonathan Sprinkle's weblog tag:blog.sprinkletoday.com,2008:/jonathan/1 2008-08-16T05:36:14Z Movable Type 3.33 A new child tag:blog.sprinkletoday.com,2008:/jonathan//1.22 2008-08-16T05:33:50Z 2008-08-16T05:36:14Z

We welcomed George-Andrew McMillan Sprinkle into our family. The experience is quite amazing. I am still processing everything that happened, but most important for me to consider is what it means to love Mary Margaret with everything I have, and love George-Andrew with everything I have too. It seemed easy to do for our parents, but somehow it's different for a child. But the same. It is amazing. I guess I might write more later, but for now I will continue to ponder this. When the rain comes, they run and hide their heads tag:blog.sprinkletoday.com,2008:/jonathan//1.21 2008-07-14T22:29:06Z 2008-07-14T22:35:09Z

I find myself humming the Beatles "Rain" whenever it starts pouring down here in Tucson. Luckily, I haven't been caught out in it, though it has helped me to fall asleep at night with the tap tap tapping of the rain. Looks like we get quite a bit of rain where we are, because being at the foothills of the mountains means that we get spillover from the convection created by the wind and the hills. Which got me to thinking the other day: are cumulus clouds created from regular clouds, and the fact that they're cumulus clouds mean that rain is coming, or do cumulus clouds float around for weeks on end, until they spot a little league game where the pitcher's just a few batters away from a no-hitter, and then start raining? The "regular clouds become cumulus clouds" theory seems nice; a normal, safe-altitude, stable, cloud drifts over some massively hot area, and the rising heat makes the cloud start drifting upward in spades, until the moisture that was drifting along becomes unstable, and rains down a reign of terror. To be continued, when I'm not writing two proposals at the same time, and shepherding another one through contracts, and running behind on my publications, and in desperate need of an espresso. Mmmmm, coffee. Nero Wolfe: In Character tag:blog.sprinkletoday.com,2008:/jonathan//1.20 2008-07-09T15:25:24Z 2008-07-09T15:36:49Z

A few months ago, NPR launched their "In Character" story series. They chose a bunch of lame characters (because, let's face it, NPR folks don't get out much, if they're all gonna be on the radio at 5:00 am; what...

In Character" story series. They chose a bunch of lame characters (because, let's face it, NPR folks don't get out much, if they're all gonna be on the radio at 5:00 am; what I can't figure out, though, is how they all use the same microphone, if someone is in Cairo, and then they cut back to Washington. Amazing). Also, as is their wont, they selected a bunch of data points from the same place (what's up with Isaac Dickson Elementary School, anyway, and why do they have a monopoly on lame characters?). So, I submitted the below writeup on Nero Wolfe. They didn't like it, I guess because I wasn't from Isaac Dickson Elementary School. Or maybe they consider talking about "fun to read" books, instead of "the world is such a horrible place" books to be worse than getting evidence on a divorce.

In a time before New Yorkers had neuroses, there was Nero Wolfe: a seventh-of-a-ton gourmand who never takes the stairs, refuses to leave his house on business, and spends a sixth of every day hybridizing orchids. Even so, Wolfe can solve mysteries moving nothing more than his genius, through his legman, Archie Goodwin's intelligence (guided by experience). As a professor, I would be a witling if I did not see myself in Wolfe, as I stick to a location during office hours, or demand to a student: "Report!" We each refuse to do tasks if our self-esteem will not allow it (Wolfe and divorce cases go together like a mathematician and 1040's). The student/professor relationship is as sybmiotic as Wolfe and Goodwin, prodding us out of our self-satisfying activities to pay the bills--or in my case, serve the greater good. Satisfactory. Wolfe's character is as strong as they come, but when characters surprise us (as Wolfe frequently does), we're given hope that our situation isn't carved in stone either. Satisfactory.

]]> How to write a CAREER award in 6 easy weeks tag:blog.sprinkletoday.com,2008:/jonathan//1.19 2008-07-07T17:29:32Z 2008-07-09T15:41:49Z

You know, writing up the NSF CAREER Award is hard work. I overestimated the time I needed in the end, but underestimated how long it would take me to polish it (hint: I am not writing it in Polish, but...

NSF CAREER Award is hard work. I overestimated the time I needed in the end, but underestimated how long it would take me to polish it (hint: I am not writing it in Polish, but want to make it crisp). Since I am a big fan of Clueless, and my CAREER proposal centers around various target platforms, I am reminder of Cher's statement while driving:

You try driving in platforms

Priceless.

]]> June 17 mailings from Blockbuster's Home Service tag:blog.sprinkletoday.com,2008:/jonathan//1.18 2008-07-07T00:02:05Z 2008-07-07T00:04:59Z

Our two most recent videos from Blockbuster Online were "Some Like It Hot" and "Tootsie". I guess most fans are on still on their honeymoon. These weren't anywhere near the top of our queue. Would anyone else have noticed this, I wonder? My goodness, that ceiling fan looks magnificent! tag:blog.sprinkletoday.com,2007:/jonathan//1.17 2007-08-22T22:33:54Z 2007-09-19T20:22:50Z

Still working on that honey-do list. Now we have three more ceiling fans installed than we had when we moved in (with one more to put up tonight). It turns out that the gnats are nearly as fierce with the fan on "high". I guess their little wings just get tired up. We're getting ready for MM's parents to come visit, and hoping that my parents will too. I guess we'll see! Other than working on the house, not much else going on, except work. Started my classes this week at UA, the students look really good. Unless you're a student reading this....in that case, "errr, these kids these days, never showing respect; I remember when we had to write compilers on the toilet walls, and we loved it." Gotta get cable, so we can keep up with South Park. How to drill a lock box to retrieve your passport (and other important things to do the night before you fly) tag:blog.sprinkletoday.com,2007:/jonathan//1.15 2007-07-24T23:45:46Z 2007-07-25T00:34:11Z

I got really sick the day we left Berkeley to come to Tucson. Not because I was sick and tired (though I was really tired too!), but mostly because I was just worn out. Anyway, to cut a long story...

really sick the day we left Berkeley to come to Tucson. Not because I was sick and tired (though I was really tired too!), but mostly because I was just worn out. Anyway, to cut a long story short, when I was packing our stuff for the car, I thought:

Aha, I should make sure that the key to the fireproof lockbox is not packed with my clothes! I will put it on my keychain.

So, I had the lockbox key on my car keychain. Innocent enough. The key looks a lot like a bike lock key, like those Kryptonite ones that you could open with a Bic pen, which were on the news not too long ago. Well, as I mentioned, I got sick. I couldn't drive, and I got motion sickness between our apartment and the landlord's house to give him back the keys. So, when we pulled up to his driveway, I realized that we hadn't taken the grocery cart with us when we left, because the bike lock key for it was on my keychain still! I thought,

Aha! I should make sure that our landlord gets the bike lock key to our leftover grocery cart! I will take it off my keychain.

Now, you may have already mentioned to yourself, "Self, I see exactly what Jonathan did!" But, of course, I was sick-as-a-dog. I mean really out of it. I mumbled something to Mary Margaret about the keys on my keychain, and slumped over while she took them over to our landlord. For a few days, nothing happened. That's of course because we didn't need to get anything out of our lock box. Then, one magical night, just 12 hours before we left for Scotland, Mary Margaret says to me,

Jon, where's the key to the lockbox?

Uh, duh.

It's on my keychain. I was soooo clever, I put it on there before we left

Silence. Clinking.

Can you show it to me on here? I can't seem to find it. I recall it looks like a bike lock key...

Then it hit me. Our key to our lockbox was 900 miles away. We were leaving in 12 hours. It took us 14 hours to drive one way. I might not make it back in time. I swore. Now, I hope you won't judge me too much on the swearing. After all, I've known all the words ever since I went to high school, and I've got a great memory. Plus, if you count all the years I couldn't talk at all, I really deserve a few every now and then. I quickly used them up. I saw that I had a few options:

I could make a fake version of MM's passport. All I would really need to do is watch the Bourne Identity and see how he did it. Oh, and I might need some Elmer's glue, but it's cheap at Wal-Marts. Ohhhh, and I could see if they had any of those fruit smoothie bars, and also get the tires rotated.
I could call a locksmith.
I could try to pick the lock.

Suddenly, I remembered: It's like a bike lock. Like one of those Kryptonite ones you could open with a Bic pen. Ooh, I could go to Wal-Mart and get a Bic pen. Well, a half-hour later I was no closer to opening the box than I was to stopping swearing. I had gone through two Bic pens, and was re-evaluating my options:

I could get in the car and drive as fast as I could to a hotel, and escape Mary Margaret's wrath. Downside: could never come back to the house. Also, might need gas money, and could not ask without arousing suspicion.
I could call a locksmith.
I could drill the lock.

Hey, now there's an idea. I'm a man. I've seen Tool Time. I can probably drill this bad boy open before dawn, and even if I fail I can still call a locksmith! It took three drill bit choices, and a hammer and tongs, but I finally got it open. You see, the thing to do is to basically peel back all of the plastic, find the piece of metal holding the top in, and rip it to the left (or right) using a screwdriver, and voila, you've opened your very own fireproof box. Now, all I had to do was hope there wasn't a fire while we were gone.]]> Well, I guess we've moved tag:blog.sprinkletoday.com,2007:/jonathan//1.14 2007-07-16T18:50:46Z 2007-07-16T18:52:00Z

We're in our new house now. I guess I have time to write but...oh, hold on...okay, time for the honey-do list...I'll just write a few...oh, hold on....yes Mary Margaret, I'm just abou--...OK, ok, I really gotta g--- Nashville lights: how beautiful they shine tag:blog.sprinkletoday.com,2007:/jonathan//1.10 2007-04-01T02:44:57Z 2007-07-25T00:35:27Z

So I am not sure whether everyone observed the "International 1/24th of a Day of Darkness" (a.k.a., Earth Hour). But, I went with a few folks from the DGC project to view the cityscape (or perhaps lack thereof) to see...

There's a lot of light out there

It's not necessarily bad

Lots of people trying to do something may still not make a dent

Earth Hour probably didn't go off with the same gusto as the founders imagined ]]> The new Australian diet tag:blog.sprinkletoday.com,2007:/jonathan//1.9 2007-03-28T02:09:54Z 2007-03-28T02:13:31Z

I've been living in Sydney for the last few days, and will be here for a few more weeks, working on the Sydney-Berkeley Driving Team's DARPA Grand Challenge entry. I have to say that I've been on this new Australian diet. I don't know what it is, that makes it work, but the results speak for themselves. Before leaving for Oz, I weighed myself and came in at around 194.5. However, stepping on a scale here put me in at 88.0 even. Not only that, but my biking speeds have improved dramatically. I averaged about 11/hr on my trips to/from Berkeley and my house, but here my biking velocity regularly clocks in somewhere around 18-19. That's so awesome! I recommend everyone going on the Australian diet as well. If I had a hammer tag:blog.sprinkletoday.com,2007:/jonathan//1.8 2007-03-20T16:43:27Z 2007-03-20T17:15:23Z

I had an email exchange with a few friends from grad school a few days ago. It began as a tirade against Daylight Savings Time by Sean, who was suggesting that the way to make it better for morning and...

"You argue that an afternoon nap increases productivity, which I certainly agree with, but you can't cut the workday short by an hour and then expect an afternoon nap to fit in there as well (especially if you want the public to exercise also.) I recommend splitting the one-hour lunch break and additional coffee breaks into three equal (more or less) 25 minute breaks spread throughout the day. Take a ten to fifteen minute nap during one of them, eat a little at each of the other two, and walk or something else good for the heart and mind. You will be more productive AND healthier." I first misread Scott's solution to re-distribute the wealth of the lunch break and coffee breaks as,

"let's divide the 1-hour lunch break into three equal breaks of 25 minutes each"

While I chuckled at this Reaganomics solution as a whimsical nod to the Escher-esque solution presented by Sean, it did get me thinking: why is it that we go onto Daylight Savings Time anyway? I mean, the days don't actually get longer, it just seems that way. As my college calculus teacher put it, "we might as well switch to Celcius at the same time, because 39 seems cooler than 102". What we need to do is actually make the days get longer. I see a few possibilities:

Change the tilt of the earth. This might be a challenge, but those crazy kids at MIT are building a space elevator, so probably we could just tie a bunch of National Geographics to the end of it, and it'll twirl us away. Maybe a few "paleo-climatologists" would complain, but I reckon it's gonna get a little colder in the southern hemisphere, so more stuff'll freeze down there by, say, the day after tomorrow.
Reduce the spin of the earth. If we can do this, I kid you not, then both you and Sean can have your way: we can have longer evenings, AND longer daylight. My best guess on reducing the Earth's spin is to try to get Superman to fly around it--but get this, fly around it backwards. His increased mass will reverse the spin by tiny fractions, plus we'll finally have a ring around earth because he'll be going so fast. I think he'll pretty much have to keep doing this the whole time we need longer days in the summer, so we'll have to use that space elevator again to send up Lois lane and balogna sandwiches and what-not.
Move the earth further away from the sun. I read about this in a scientific journal that I saw at the Pilot Truck Stop once: if all the people in China jump up and down at the same time, it could push the earth out of its orbit. I figure since there's a bunch of people in India too, we could do this once or twice a year and push ourselved back and forth. While this doesn't give us longer days, we *do* have more days in the year, so we'll be able to have those few extra days at Christmas. Or over 4th of July in the Southern Hemisphere.

Now, I've gotta get back to that Cold Fusion experiment I'm doing, but I'll keep you posted on any other ideas I come up with. ]]> We're running out of time here, Tony tag:blog.sprinkletoday.com,2007:/jonathan//1.7 2007-03-09T07:10:58Z 2007-03-09T07:24:26Z

I've been experimenting lately with how to be more productive with my time. My most recent success is turning off my email for long periods of time, and then being responsive for short bursts. For example, today I checked email...

We haven't got much time

There's no time

How much time is that gonna take, and

I need this now! I've enjoyed reading too. After all, the Grand Challenge is consuming both ends of my candle, so I need something to prop it up in the middle. ]]> What the heck, two entries in one day? tag:blog.sprinkletoday.com,2007:/jonathan//1.6 2007-03-06T06:47:25Z 2007-03-06T07:45:59Z

You know, most people use their blogs for two things: (1) pretending that writing in their blog will change the policies of the United States, and thus donning a tinfoil hat in the hopes that perhaps some lowly state department official will be cruising around the web one day, during their lunch hour, and say, "You know, Jeeves, I say, one must do one's due to one's country by taking a day such as today, and, well, you know, having a spot of 'spot the good idea as held by one's peer' on the old information dual-carriageway. If that's the word I mean." Well, to cut a long story short, a crisis of conscience appears, and before you can say "Jack Robinson Crusoe" that very thing which you pretended to write has come true. Or (2), keeping track of how to maintain blog software, or wiki software, or linux software, or any other kind of software. Or (3), pointing out that people don't necessarily keep their word, even though facts published on their weblogs might contradict earlier (or later) weblog postings. But not me. No, I'm using my weblog in a very creative way: I only write in it when I can remember the URL, and I never write anything related to work, or to weblogging. I keep on thinking of that old adage one hears about people with writer's block: "Just write every day." Well, codswallup. If that's the word I mean. I'm gonna write every day, except for those days I forget, of course, and there's gonna be no blocks about it, you probably won't even want to read it. For heaven's sake, I'm an engineer, not a political pundit. Not that you'd want to read what most of them have to say anyway. No, I'll just keep to the strayed (but narrow) columns of this Movable Type prison, and before you can say Lost: The Reunion (Starring Jackie Robinson and Robinson Crusoe), there'll be more words than an assembly exercise for Cray Supercomputers flowing on your terminal. Finally got MT linking straight up! tag:blog.sprinkletoday.com,2007:/jonathan//1.5 2007-03-06T01:41:40Z 2007-03-06T01:42:40Z

Well, looks like I may have successfully gotten MT to accept my peace offering of fruits and a fatted calf, so now I have my login buttons on the side. Don't push them, it'll restart your computer if you don't know my password. No, not really. Why is it that it's hard to find the entry URL for MT blogs? tag:blog.sprinkletoday.com,2007:/jonathan//1.4 2007-03-05T06:15:34Z 2007-03-05T06:20:37Z

I tell you what, I've missed the last 2 months of publishing, and it's all because I can't remember the darn URL to create a new blog. Oh, sure, I guess everyone else can remember to append "?__mode=view&_type=entry......", but I can't. I'm sure that I'd be writing every day, if I could just remember that. What does the public at large due? I mean, people much dumber than me are posting blogs every day, but there's nothing in the MT installation about where to create a new entry. I'd love to install the adminlinks package, but I'm still working on it.